NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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