I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
