Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
