i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I looked at my own cervix.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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