Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I have feelings that need drinking.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
