What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Randomize
