I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
