This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
