Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
