Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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