it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
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I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
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