The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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