what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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