well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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