Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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