Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
