So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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