Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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