You work out of a Hotel?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
