So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
