Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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