I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
