You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
