Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
