Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
