That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
