someone get that fucking seahorse.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
