just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
what day is it and did you see me today?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
i need some magic done to my vagina
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize
