No subtext here. People are naked.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
