I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
