And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Randomize
