You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Four minutes until I can fart!
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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