thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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