FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
