Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
false alarm. still invincible.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
