How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.