Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?