did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
