In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
