Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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