Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
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