Kiss
Puke
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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