i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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