If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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