I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
