just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
