Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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