Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
