what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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