i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize