The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
