ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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