so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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