i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
