exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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