So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
