i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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