are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
