His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
