I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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