My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Holy shit dude........stairs
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