Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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