How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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