who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
