Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
